What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What do you mean son?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why do men always bring up “the draft” (the last military draft was in 1972) when abortion rights are being discussed? - are they advocating that women ought to owe our bodies to the government? Should anyone owe their body to the state?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Do you know what she said mum?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Why don't I get sleep at nights?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Scientists visualize key protein structures linked to immune response and inflammation - Phys.org

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

True - how I loved my mum!

Why is my coworker suddenly being so mean towards then being nice like nothing happened? She is nice with everyone but me.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What! how could you do that?

What did Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts do wrong in Sweden?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.